Dance Dance Reformation, the new party game where you can play as Martin Luther and boogie away corruption in the catholic church
Followed soon after by Dance Dance Restoration, the astonishing sequel that introduces new moves, a new king, and two dozen unlockable mistresses.
Send help, it got better
With the season of Lent upon us, let us not forget that in the Middle Ages people believed that barnacle geese were born out of driftwood and were consequently a type of fish and therefore perfectly okay to eat during Lent, until Pope Innocent III was forced to declare that they were all very silly and needed to stop.
au where the trojan war is a party menelaus throws to win back his girlfriend who left him for some douchebag and he ropes all his friends into helping him and wacky shenanigans happen and a running gag is that odysseus doesn’t even want to be there he’s got shit to do and at the end he gets stuck in traffic on the way home
on the way home odysseus gets into a very minor fender bender that’s more like a fender bumper with some shit driver who is almost DEFINITELY high. and it’s all this guy’s fault but he won’t stop screaming about how he’s gonna fucking sue and odysseus just wants to go the fuck home and the guy goes “I’M FILING THE POLICE REPORT WHO ARE YOU” and odysseus is just so done that he says “nobody” and drives the fuck off and this completely tripping guy ends up screaming to the police at the side of the road at like three in the morning “NOBODY CRASHED INTO MY CAR!!!!!”
#I’M FUCKING SCREAMING #THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD THO #ODYSSEUS’ GF PENELOPE IS STUCK AT ANOTHER PARTY #GETTING HIT ON BY DOUCHES FROM ANOTHER FRAT #BUT ODYSSEUS HAS TO LIKE FIND A NEW CAR AND TRIES TO BORROW ONE FROM THIS CHICK WHO GIVES HIM SOME FUCKIN LACED POT OR SOMETHING BC HE FEELS LIKE HE’S BEEN THERE FOREVER #AND MEANWHILE PENELOPE HAS BEEN FORCED TO SAY THAT SHE’LL GO HOME WITH WHOEVER CAN BEAT HER AT BEERPONG #ONLY SHE’S FUCKIN LEGENDARY #SUCKS TO SUCK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN BEAT HER IS ODYSSEUS #BUT HE HAS TO BE ON THE DL BC THIS FRAT HATES HIS GUTS #AND HE BEATS HER #AND SHE KNOWS IT’S HIM
if you’re ever having problems with a boy just remember that at least he never converted his entire country to protestantism just to break up with you
oh my fucking god
SCREAMING BECAUSE I LOVE HISTORY.